"Never underestimate my Jesus" is a song I heard on Air1 this morning. I almost cried singing along, it was the perfect song to hear this morning. Too many times have I find myself underestimating my Jesus. It's not that I don't think He can fix all of my problems, I get stuck on the ‘how' will He take care of them, and I begin to despair. It's also in those moments when I feel most broken and cry out to Him.

The past five months have been incredibly difficult financially for James and me. We emptied our savings account to pay adoption costs. My checks haven't been enough to pay our tithe and mortgage. We've been incredibly blessed with thousands of dollars in what should be ‘extra' money through random bonuses and even taxes. But, some of that has gone to pay our mortgage and our simple monthly bills. We're not extravagant people, we don't go shopping and out to dinner all the time, but somehow, nothing was adding up. We've been putting the extra expenses of diapers and formula, gas and groceries on our credit card, because there just hasn't been the money in our checking account to cover any of it. With more adoption costs and one more supplemental property tax installment due this month, we were trying to figure out what bill we just wouldn't pay. I've never had to not pay a bill before in my life. This was a difficult decision to make, but I couldn't see how in the world the extra money would come in. Even trying to sell our truck and spa, there wouldn't be enough money. I have been devastated by financial woes.

I've been trying to just remind myself that the Lord blessed us by fulfilling our three huge prayers of 2006. We own our home, James is full-time with AIM, and we have a wonderful, amazing, sweet, happy, joyful Isaac. Yet, it's been those answered prayers that are stretching us a lot. We don't have the money for our property taxes or the adoption, and our support isn't fully where it needs to be for AIM. I also knew that the Lord wouldn't give us our blessings to become great burdens, and that He would provide the means we need. Unfortunately, I was again getting stuck on the ‘how'.

Last night, James had a call from our pastor. Someone anonymously donated a great amount of money to go directly to Isaac's adoption. James didn't tell me until he got home, and he just showed me the check. I had no words. I just cried and thanked the Lord. He shows me time and time again how big He is and how small I am. James always says "Big God, But God". It's so true. The Lord humbles me and my wavering faith by reminding me to never underestimate my Jesus.